


"Why are you still here?"

by Akutiema21



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Happy Ending, Prussia has an Existential Crisis, Prussia is East Germany, Prussia-Centric (Hetalia), Self-Reflection, it's not Prussia don't worry, no beta we die like davie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akutiema21/pseuds/Akutiema21
Summary: "Why are you still here?"The question still remained, a thought that nestled into the crevice of his mind, bubbling to the surface when the beer was too strong. By all accounts he should be dead."And then I realized that to be more aliveI had to be less afraid so I did it.I lost my fearAnd gained my whole life" – Rudy Francisco
Kudos: 6





	"Why are you still here?"

By all accounts he should be dead. His people are gone, a faded memory of the past better forgotten. Despite that, he considers himself lucky; lucky that he survived the torment and shit thrown his way, to go through hell and back yet still be standing is a feat to behold. 

“why are you still here?” 

The question still remained, a thought that nestled into the crevice of his mind, bubbling to the surface when the beer was too strong. If he asked his ever-stoic brother he’d simply tell him the facts: he assumed the mantle of East Germany. Sure, it answered the how but not the why. Austria had called him a ‘special case’ before, what he meant by that was up to debate. Coming from him though, it probably wasn’t pleasant. Despite that, it fit his situation well, as far as he knew most nations slowly ceased to exist once their time ran out or died on the spot. His time ran out roughly seventy-six years ago. 

The clank of his coffee cup being set on the mahogany table snaps him back from his stupor. Prussia mutters a soft ‘thank you’ to the waitress and as she leaves, he absent-mindedly takes a sip. He visibly winces as the liquid hits his tongue, the bitter taste scalding, he quickly sets the cup back down. 

This café was probably one of his favourites. It was situated far from the main road, giving it the luxury away from publicity. Only locals seemed to know of it meaning even at its busiest, it was relatively quiet, giving way to the serene atmosphere the café carried. The furthest table towards the back was his usual haunt and the spot he occupied right now. From it he had an i̶n̶c̶r̶e̶d̶i̶b̶l̶e̶ awesome view of the city and best of all the small park that was constructed a few years ago. From it he could watch the birds that flocked to the bird bath located in the centre and observe people going about their day, unaware of his existence. The table also had easy viewing of the clock displayed high on the cream painted wall and his eyes flit to it for a second; he has about 30 minutes before he leaves. 

Prussia blows lightly onto his coffee before taking another sip, content with watching the world go on without him. Would anything change if he no longer existed? Would Germany be okay without him or would he work himself to death? How would Spain and France feel about him? Would Japan be happier without his occasional uninvited (but seemingly not unwelcome) visits? 

Prussia wasn’t sure about the others but he supposed Germany would be fine, he practically raised him to be self-reliant after all. Despite that, he felt a twinge (okay more than a twinge) upset at that revelation. No one likes the thought of everyone living without them, right? 

It’s the reason he’s so loud, being forgotten is one of his biggest fears not that he’d care to admit it, but here he finds he can at least admit it to himself. After his dissolution he’d made it his life mission to annoy the crap out of everyone and anyone- Romano's words not his –in a futile attempt to be seen, heard, noticed and most importantly not forgotten. In the end he might as well not bothered, other nations were a lot more willing to withstand him now that he’s no longer a threat in their eyes. He’s found people are more kind, more forgiving towards both his past and behaviour, though he suspects it might be pity, something he does not want nor need. 

Having finished the coffee and with about 10 minutes to spare Prussia exits the café, giving a quick goodbye to the shop owner as well as the waitress that served him prior. Immediately as he steps out, he indistinctively raises his left arm to shield his eyes from the sun's rays. He'd forgotten it was forecasted sunny today; He preferred overcast if anything. Prussia sticks to the shadows as he walked. His destination wasn’t too far, short enough to walk it than take the car- which is due an MOT he notes. 

It doesn't take him long to reach his destination, though he supposes the trip would have taken longer if he wasn’t a nation. He climbs the couple of steps it takes to reach the sundial monument. Once upon a time it used to be a regular meeting spot of all the Germanic nations. Before that it was the final resting place of Germania. Prussia had no idea why they decided to build one in this exact spot but he wasn’t complaining, it had its charm and was actually quite cool looking. 

He leans on the railing surrounding the sundial, the wind tussling his hair ever so slightly. He remembers showing Old Fritz this exact spot a few hundred years ago. He can’t remember exactly what conversation they had which led to seeking it out, but he did remember his old boss putting a hand on his shoulder, a content smile on his face. It was one of the few times he saw him genuinely happy. 

As for Germania- his father -he saw die here. It was one of the memories he wished he could suppress, though it seemed the harder he tried, the more vivid he remembered. At least that’s what he thinks. According to everyone else Germania disappeared shortly after Rome did. They didn’t see the surprise that entered his eyes nor the settling panic turned resignation when he realised that this was the end. Prussia, being young didn’t fully comprehend what was happening originally. One minute Germania was standing tall and proud, stoic as ever, the next he was on the ground grasping at an invisible pain like he’d just been shot several times. (Guns obviously weren't invented yet but it was the closest descriptor Prussia could use to describe how it looked) He’d rushed to Germania’s side, feeling daunted because he didn’t know what to do, didn’t understand what was going on. To him, nations and personifications were never-ending. They didn’t die, couldn't die; so, to imagine he was witnessing it right then and there was unfathomable. Yet there he was watching it unfold. 

The rest of his memory after that is hazy, he rarely recalls anything else pertaining Germania apart from that. Leave it to his brain to retain the bad but forget the good. That was defiantly not awesome at all and left him rather frustrated. 

He's only been here for a few minutes out in the open before he gets that burning feeling that drags itself over his skin like a tattoo needle. Prussia sighs and he reluctantly moves to the tree that blocks most of the sun from view. The new spot isn't very ideal as he’s forced to stand near the railing as to not wet his clothes from the residue that has yet to evaporate. 

Thinking back on it, Germania’s passing made sense. He had multiple children and grandchildren that where eager to make their mark on the world, some more than others. But is that how everyone dies? Is that why everyone dies? If someone doesn't kill you, nature does it for you? If that’s the case then why after he’s seen proof of it happening does it never come to him? Is it truly a coincidence by chance? That’s why he came up here; to get answers. A silent plea to Germania to answer this question so he can continue his life without it crowding his mind. 

Through his thinking, Prussia hadn't exactly taken too much notice in his surroundings, too absorbed in his mental dilemma to fully appreciate the scenery that came with the spot. Who'd have thought such a mesmerising place would hold such misery? The sun was a little higher now than it previously had been and the sundial reflected that. The marble dial stood tall in the centre of its gleaming surface, its shadow falling just over the IX. In the inner circle of the dial a quote was etched in: “how long is time? It’s timeless” 

Time huh? Time is defined by people, for people. It's real but at the same time not. If everyone stopped believing in time it wouldn't exist right? The sun would still rise and fall, the moon would still shine, Life would still continue. Time is still there, just going unmeasured. In a way that’s similar to Germania- no in fact to anyone who dies. They may not talk but their presence is still known, still had an impact. They live because their memory lives and if it does, they can never really die. But that’s only applicable if people are alive; if he’s alive. 

For things to be remembered there needs to be people present to remember. It hits him. 

“Why are you here?” 

“Because I’m not forgotten, and I need to remember.” 

By all accounts Prussia should be dead. His people are gone; a faded memory best remembered. He is here as a reminder, a memory, as East Germany because everything he stood for, still stands for needs to be remembered. Also, Germany would work himself into the grave without his awesome-self reminding him to eat and take a break. That’s reason enough.


End file.
